Aww... I'm sorry about the scanner fritz-ness.
May I offer my assistance? I can probably get you a link to the drivers you want, or burn them to a disc and give them to you. Who made the scanner?

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"...The truth knocks on your door and you say, 'Go away, I'm looking for the truth'. And it goes away...."
-Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

Yes, you may offer your assistance.

It's weird. Like, it works and everything, but when I go to scan something all these installation windows pop up and after I cancel all of them it lets me scan stuff. If I let them load it says, "This scanner is not plugged in." So I have no idea what is wrong with it.

It's a magical HP scanner-printer combo thing.

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and of all gods jokes, i am the most cruel. i'll make you forget your friends, your faith, and your rules.

Hm... more specifically, what kind of magical HP scanner-printer thingy? It should say on the printer. Probably something along the lines of "psc 1110" or "Photosmart D1551" or the like.
It sounds like a driver issue that would be most easily fixed by reinstalling the drivers, assuming of course you've already checked to make sure the scanner is plugged into the computer and is on. Not that I think you're stupid or anything but I always make it a point to check the most basic stuff no matter who I'm talking to.

Suffice it to say I've had some..... interesting experiences regarding the issue...
So no offense by my asking.

Oh, and, can I take a stab at what song it is if I vaguely had it in my head but still had to use Google to jog my memory? Or is that cheating?

--
"...The truth knocks on your door and you say, 'Go away, I'm looking for the truth'. And it goes away...."
-Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

Yup, checked everything. Made sure it was plugged in, made sure it was even on. I even restarted everything, unplugged it and plugged it back in. The printer works just fine, but not the scanner. It's a HPF4180.

Normally that would be cheating, but I figured someone would cheat anyways to get the prizes. If they did, how would I know whether or not they were legit? One of the many downfalls of the internet.

Go for it.

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and of all gods jokes, i am the most cruel. i'll make you forget your friends, your faith, and your rules.

[link]

That will take you to the HP Software and Driver downloads center, all you have to do is select your OS. Unless your computer is super-new and super-expensive, you don't have a 64-bit OS, so you don't have to worry about that. I just wasn't sure if you were running Vista or XP. I also wasn't sure if maybe you had a Mac instead, so I figured I'd give you that link and let you run with it. All you need to do is download the basic drivers for the device (unless you like all the HP photo software that comes with it, then download the full thing, although if you're on a dial-up connection, I can just burn the drivers to a disc and take it to you tomorrow because both of them would kill your connection over dial-up.)
After you get the stuff downloaded, go to Start>Control Panel>Add-Remove Programs (or something close to that, three years on Linux hasn't taught me to speak Windows very well... and if you've got a Mac well.... you'll have to give me a minute to figure out how to uninstall drivers and such, although apps you just drag into the trash.)
Anyway, go to Add-Remove Programs and get rid of the HP branded stuff, like Photosmart software and your HPF4180 drivers, they should be pretty clearly labeled. Then once that's successful go ahead and run the .exe you downloaded from HP's website, follow the onscreen instructions and your printer/scanner should be healthy. If not, I would check the procedure and if that checks out I would assume a hardware failure somewhere, but your printer seems pretty new so I don't think it could be that unless your printer has been through some seriously hardcore duty.

And.... was it Hells Bells by AC/DC?

--
"...The truth knocks on your door and you say, 'Go away, I'm looking for the truth'. And it goes away...."
-Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

Yes! You get a plate full of cookies, lots of love, and kudos!

--
and of all gods jokes, i am the most cruel. i'll make you forget your friends, your faith, and your rules.